There is no coincidence to why you are here. Your search for solutions or answers has led us to meet in this very time and space – my words and your eyes. The pains you have been experiencing have been robbing you of your peace and your precious resources (time, money, energy and opportunities). Perhaps you are also going through some really tough times in your career, relationship or finances and wondering if it is all worth it…and gradually it led you to questioning your self-worth…and now you are here.

If turning your life around means something to you, read on. I would like to briefly share what I had learned in my often times painful journey with you from whence I was a child.

I was born with a congenital hole-in-the-heart (Ventricular Septal Defect, VSD). I was told I would not survive past my teens because of the strain of my heart due to the VSD. Today, I am a survivor. Still. Way past my “expiry date” as told by my doctors all because I learned how to listen to my heart and tune into my body make the important adjustments so that I can live. Are you often wondering why you are listening to people, authoritative figures such as parents and teachers that often made you feel small and unliberated? If you are, then I have more to share from my experiences. Allowing yourself to drown in the disbeliefs and condescending words of others is like a ship deciding to open a hole in its hull for water to go in. You will sink.

Having a VSD, was not easy. I had constant chest pains and going in and out of the hospital was a norm for me in my childhood. I was even restricted from playing children’s games in kindergarten. Being made to sit out while watching others have fun made me question my existence at a very young age. I heard so many “cannots” told to me in my life that I wondered if people ever felt anything from my perspective; how I would feel inside. Have they all pondered how a child would be receiving those debilitating instructions and restraints? Nonetheless, as a child, we are gifted with curiosity and loads of creativity. I began finding ways to make the impossible, possible. I started to experiment how I could turn a “cannot” into “can”. I discovered new gifts within me – The gift of HOW. Would you like to ignite yours too? It is inside of you.

Born into a family that was dysfunctional had an effect on me too. Constant fights and yelling was not easy to my ears and my heart – the emotional one. When things did not work out, or work in ways they should, people just slammed the door or leave the house. I felt useless, helpless and hopeless especially when fights ended bloody. Where can I get a sense of safety if the closest people, my family do not even know how to show or give it? Not having a dad around affected my growth. I needed directions and support but it was not there. My needs and care were given solely by my mother – lady dealing with family issues who was trying to make ends meet without a husband and no one to turn to. Lacking attention from parents, I went inside a lot questioning my worth. If you are dealing with trauma from your past, know that awareness is first needed. Your worth is not determined by what has happened to you. If you want to cope better with the stressors of life, learn the art of “how”. Flow helps you to discover spaces your do not yet know.

In retrospect, my parents mishandling themselves allowed me to understand the detrimental effects parents have on their children. What you show is what they know. Always be careful of what you demonstrate to your children. Many a times, I prayed for death as a child especially when I could not solve the problems of my parents. If you are feeling guilty, responsible and shame from the actions of others, know that you are not alone and it was not your fault. And if you are a parent, know that you might be interested to know some perspectives right now so that your children need not be burdened undoing any traumas caused unconsciously. It is from my personal and work experience of over 40 years, that no one would want to cause hurt on purpose to another if they are well guided, understood and loved immensely without conditions. Why a person “errs” is because they do not know any better solution or because they have a limited way of prioritizing values or importance while making decisions. Why parents behave like children and their children behaves like them is due to the experience of the “child inside” not been attended to or cared for.

Traumatic experiences from our past affect the way we interacted with people. I saw my own played out especially to who are close to me. I saw how my incapacity to stop my parents from signing the divorce papers led me to belief that no good can come out of a marriage. What a warped idea it was when I realised the irrational sense I made of it! We can choose to free our past through new and felt experiences. The somatic experience can reassess cognition patterns of the brain and also the habits programmed into us. Our biases can be challenged safely inside ourselves. Learning to undo my past hurts and wounds was in fact a process of adding depth to my gift. I am grateful for what I experienced and learned.

When I was in my late teens, I discovered dance. Winning a competition led me to transition from my Engineering career path to a Performing Arts one. I was, however, met with scorn, dissuasion, mockery, and was even questioned if I was gay! All because I wanted to dance. If you had ever wanted to do something different and lived a different life but was laughed and mocked into being your old self again, PAUSE right here. You can redesign your life. You can choreograph a new way to think and live by engaging with the resources that lie in you.

From overcoming negativity and fears, I graduated as the Most Outstanding Student in my dance faculty and I ended up as a Valedictorian too and received an award for excellence in the arts. This was only possible because I had my eyes in the experience of how I wanted to live. Not for the outcome but for EVERY NOW and EVERY HERE I am. I lived like it was do or die … and I did not want to die. Resilience and courage thus grew silently within me, without my knowing.

Living in The Netherlands after passing a dance audition into a prestigious school in Rotterdam opened up a new world in me. From being told that it was not possible by a jealous friend to having fears input in me about a foreign land, I had to carry all that and experience life with a little bit of a baggage. Overcoming climate, cultural and racial differences, I understood the art of dancing lies in one’s ability to dance between the poses for as long as it takes. For movement is not a stop but the flow of energy decided upon an intention that carries on with a momentum that follows through to where we intend for it. We have a choice and we can also decide. If you have always thought that there is “no choice” in life, I invite you to dare yourself today. Make connection with me and see where life takes you. I will share how I prevented myself from having an ankle bone not sawn off me and how I survived bleeding a pillow of blood. I am pretty sure you can take something away from that sharing.

Losing my mother to a brain tumour within six months of my returning to Singapore and working non-stop daily for the next six years, I realised I was so challenged to stay strong that I just kept going. I was trying to find reasons to live. I was also avoiding my pain. When I realised that, I felt sorry for me. Not the pity kind but the loving one. When did you last loved yourself and not pitied yourself from the situations you were put in? Are you really a victim of your circumstances or you just unaware you had the power to change? You have. You just did not know how to unleash it yet.

When I made up my mind to pursue love in New York after maintaining two years of long distance relationship, I was again challenged with my decision when I arrived. I knew within four months I could not live for the rest of my life with a lady whose values are so different. If you are still reading this, I want to tell you … it is not all about challenges. There were amazing times in my life. So many experiences and angels that came into my life to inspire me to who I am today and it is because of that I am made to rethink and reflect upon my daily decisions. No one is playing you like a fool. Not the universe or God or anyone. If you think there are many things to learn, you are not wrong. However, if you think someone else is punishing you… then perhaps take a breather and ask if it is actually you because of the perception you are adopting? In my book, Flow-The Art of Creating AbunDance, I spoke about three Ps. One of them is Perception. Until we change our perception, we continue to be stuck in the ways we think and behave. Do you want to know how to change that with greater ease? Discover what the other two Ps are! They will change your life.

Till date, after more than two decades of being in the education of movement applied to performing arts, health and well-being, I am happy to say that the 18 000 students that I had come into contact with in my life who came from more than 30 countries left some magic in me just as they told me the impact I had on them. These students on top of those millions of viewers for my televised work added to my gift – The gift of “how”.

To improve how I do something so that I can teach them how to do it better through (L)istening, (O)bserving and (V)alidating and (E)mpathising. If you are seeking for LOVE to improve your life, I invite you to look no further.

Get in touch with me and I dedicate myself to help you get in touch with your deeper self so that you can experience all that you are meant to be.

Lovingly,